If a man were to say, “I’m off for a wank” most of his mates wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Imagine if a woman were to the say the same, there’d be gasps, giggles, maybe even tears. In so many cases, women are made to feel ashamed of masturbation and the idea of being sexually con dent to do it. It comes down to a much bigger issue and attitude: repression of female sexuality. The idea that a woman has sexual desires of her own and doesn’t need a man to fulfil them (I know, can you actually believe it) is one of the reasons this taboo still lives on.

 

As a result of the taboo that surrounds it, girls are made to feel ashamed to talk about masturbating. I don’t think I had one single conversation with a friend about it when I was in school. Now, I don’t know if that’s because no one was doing it, or that everyone was just too embarrassed to talk about it. Uni was a different story. Having just moved into halls, chilling in my new flatmate’s room trying to get to know her, she proudly whips out her vibrator and placed it on her bedside table. Part of me was like, woah who is this crazy girl that owns a vibrator and is just waving it about like it’s a toothbrush. The other part of me was like, damn, that’s pretty cool.

 

Masturbation has many bene ts to it, with the obvious one being receiving sexual pleasure. But it’s also a way to understand yourself and a way to get to know your body inside and out (literally). Doing this can help you learn what works best for you to reach climax, and can therefore improve your sex life with your sexual partner, and who wouldn’t want that? Pleasuring yourself can also improve your self-esteem, uplift your mood and generally improve your physical and mental well being. On top of all that, it can also provide pain relief for menstrual cramps - I tell you, it’s a pretty powerful and magical thing. This is why the taboo needs to end and for people to realise it’s a very beneficial and natural thing. Slowly, this is starting to happen through the feminist and self-care movement opening up more honest conversations about masturbation- thank god.

 

With these conversations, there has been a newfound acceptance towards female masturbation and with this has come a new wave of sex toys created with women’s actual sexual needs and anatomy in mind. When thinking of sex toys, the image that springs to mind would be a penis shape lob of plastic. Why? Because they were designed by men who just assumed that’s what women want – a big penis. When in reality, women are much more likely to have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation. With times changing, women are coming to the forefront of the sex toy industry. Dame is a brand that designs sex toys by women for women. Their mission – “to design well-engineered sex toys, to heighten intimacy, and to openly empower the sexual experiences of womankind.” Instead of designing the typical phallic shape sex toy, one of the toys they have created is stylishly round, hands- free and can be used on its own as well as during sex. Co-founders, Janet Lieberman and Alexandra Fine believe “sex toys should satisfy real women’s real needs. Instead of starting with a flashy feature or kooky shape, we begin our design process with focus groups and scientific research.

 

Progress is finally being made towards ending this taboo and realising that women are sexual beings, they do have sexual needs and they’re not ‘sluts’ because of it. Maybe, the day will come where if a woman was to announce to her group of friends that she’s “off for a wank” there’d be no questions raised.